It's hard to know what to write about our semester in Thailand in a single post, but after a year of delaying, I figure it's better to at least have something -- no matter how incomplete it may be. When I first started teaching at EMU, I was fascinated by the idea of someday leading a cross-cultural. However, the daily grind slipped in and this soon became a faraway dream.
Years later, I received a call from Myrrl Byler. Myrrl, otherwise known as "Mr. Asia" has spent a good portion of his life working in and travelling around Asia, especially China. I had already partnered with him for several years as part of the China Scholar Exchange program where we hosted a small group of professors from China at EMU each semester. Myrrl was preparing to lead another cross-cultural to Asia and invited me to be his coleader. After some discussion with Jooyeon, we agreed to do it!
Even without Covid, I wanted to make our group dynamics and personal growth a focal point of the trip. So, as soon as our group was formed in January 2021, we started bonding. I set up a Google Doc for each student as a journal, and Myrrl and I cotaught an Asian Languages evening class that most of the students attended. Together, we learned about the oral and written languages of China, Japan, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, and Korea.
As Covid unfolded, we were forced to shift to a single country trip, so we ended up choosing Thailand for various reasons. In late August, we gathered at EMU for a few days of pre-trip prep. A few discussions, orientation sessions, Covid tests, and journal entries later, we boarded a plan for the Thai island of Phuket, with a layover in Qatar.
We were fortunate that Thailand had just started an experimental program where visitors could "quarantine" for 2 weeks on an island with free roam rather than two weeks locked in a hotel room as in other Asian countries. This did involve a series of four PCR Covid tests for each person ($600, much backup planning, and a lot of nasal invasion!), but it was worth it to enjoy the beautiful nature and people of the island. Somehow, we managed our 108 tests with no Covid-positive results. A good thing, because even a single positive could have resulted in some fairly costly and undesirable backup plans (although I'm sure we would've managed). Myrrl and his wife Ruthie did get stranded due to cancelled flights and were unable to join us for the first week, but the students were so mature and the Novotel staff where we were staying were so helpful, that this really wasn't an issue. It did force me into a crash course of managing finances in a foreign country for a group -- withdrawal limits, card holds, receipts, etc. -- but a peaceful morning walk along the beach was usually enough to clear my mind. :)
The basic plan was to quarantine for two weeks in Phuket, travel up to Chiang Mai for the next couple months, and then play the final month by ear (i.e., potentially travel to nearby countries if they had opened up again). Things didn't open up, so we just spent our final weeks in Bangkok, some free travel, and a final retreat in Hua Hin.
For our two weeks in Phuket, our daily schedule usually consisted of an hour-long Thai lesson with Khru Nan, my favorite podcaster I had used to study Thai throughout the previous year; a riveting Chinese history lesson with Myrrl (Zoom at first, then in-person once he joined us); and then a couple sessions for group bonding, partner sharing, journaling, and updates from me. Other days involved a trip to the Covid testing center in a nearby town or a little trip to somewhere on the island.
Going into the trip, I anticipated the biggest areas of concern to be (a) physical/mental health of students, (b) Covid issues and related planning, and (c) feeling torn between my role as a group leader and a father/husband.
How did these worries play out?
(a) There were always some health issues at any point in time, but most of them were minor (with the exception of a broken ankle and a severe prolonged case of chancre sores). I did have a scare when I got a text message about Emma getting stung by a jellyfish (knowing we were in an area where the highly poisonous box jellyfish swam), but she was in the good hands of several group members and the competent Novotel staff and it ended up not being a box jellyfish anyway. When we did need any medical work, the Thai clinics/hospitals were cheap and effective.
(b) Covid measures (tests, insurance, hotel restrictions, size limitations, etc.) definitely took a toll on our budget, although it would have been much worse if we had a small outbreak within our group (which we never did). Perhaps more significant was the level of anxiety I had around our girls catching it (they were the only unvaccinated members of our group) or of immunocompromised members of our group catching it. There were also the economic implications on our hosts if any of us tested positive for Covid (potentially even the entire YMCA getting shut down and workers losing their jobs). This resulted in me placing measures on the group that were inconvenient and uncomfortable at times. Tensions around this culminated in a particularly emotional Zoom conference one October evening while most of the group was in a temporary quarantine -- probably the low point of the whole trip for me -- but also a lesson in how conflict has the potential to draw people closer together. That meeting was followed by a series of heart-to-heart conversations that increased my empathy for students and theirs for me.
(c) Although a constant low-level tension, the multi-role stress wasn't as bad as I thought. Jooyeon and I had some tough discussions during the first week of Phuket, but after that, things went more smoothly. In Chiang Mai, where we were for most of the trip, I went back and forth between sleeping in a room at the YMCA where students were and our Doubleday unit where Jooyeon and the girls were. There were several times where the students had free time and I spent time with my family when I didn't have other issues to address. Having Isaac there as a teacher for the girls was a wonderful addition that alleviated some of this stress as well.
One of my favorite parts of the trip was seeing E and K interact with the college students. Although the students had varying degrees of experience being around children of their age, everyone embraced them (emotionally and physically -- morning hugs were a daily ritual!) and our girls quickly grew comfortable around them also.
Buddhism is prominent throughout Thailand, especially the northern regions where we were. Many Thais subscribe to the Buddhist philosophy to some degree, which underlies much of the culture and includes meditation, community support, and loving kindness. It also had the special Thai Buddhist flavor of "mai bpen rai" (somewhat like "no worries" -- does it really matter?).
Beyond that, some Thais also held religious beliefs and superstitions that impacted their approach to daily life. Most of our students resonated with the Buddhist philosophy components (except for perhaps some of the traditional views like those of women). As for the Buddhist religion and superstitions, this was more of a curiosity for them that showed up more in stories as they wandered the ornate temples and participated in festivals.
With Covid limiting our human interactions, some of our most memorable connections were with animals. Stray cats and dogs were everywhere and mostly friendly. Elephants started off as a distant creature with whom we formed a closer and closer affinity throughout the course of the trip. We even had the pleasure of working with their poo to form some products together. Our family spent a couple trips at an elephant camp a couple hours outside of Chiang Mai. Here, the elephants roamed freely and would visit our bungalows in the morning -- later in the day, we went hiking with them, fed them bananas, and bathed with them in the river.
Throughout the trip, we each encountered challenges and were forced to face our fears. Oftentimes, what was fairly routine for one person would be an extreme hurdle for others and vice-versa. Surmounting these challenges, usually through a combination of self-reflection and support from each other, was incredible. The hike below is one example of these challenges -- the pictures don't tell the whole story of the deluge of rain that changed the muddy mountain trails into perilous slopes.
Thai cuisine is amazing! This ranged from well-known treats like bubble tea, curry, and phad thai to more regional specialties like khao soi (a flavorful noodle-based dish). Being in cities like Chiang Mai and Bangkok, we also had constant access to foods from around the world, often delivered via services like Grab. The Chiang Mai YMCA cooked most of our breakfasts and lunches, and we tried to eat dinner as an entire group at least once a week. For most places, we were the first group to return after the long Covid tourist drought. This meant a general air of excitement and lots of pictures of us for social media so that the restaurants could show things were returning to "normal." Thai economics are heavily dependent on tourism, and Covid took a heavy toll on the entire society. With only a few workers left at most restaurants, dishes were often brought out over the course of an hour, giving us a good lesson in patience and making the food taste even better when it arrived!
Here was our very first meal in Thailand, delivered via room service to our Novotel room where we had to wait for 12 hours until we had a negative Covid result.
"Isaac School" was a blessing for us and the girls. Several times a week, Isaac would take the girls and do activities with them. He started with the Virginia Standards of Learning for math and then added in his own creative elements of dance, dares, and competitions to bring them to life. He even added in some Spanish lessons to keep their dual immersion skills active. This meant the girls spoke Thai to locals, Spanish in their class, Korean to Jooyeon and me (when we wanted to talk secretly), and English everywhere else. I think this kind of cognitive demand would have been overwhelming, but because they had such an enthusiastic and caring teaching in Isaac, it all worked out well.
K and E had plenty of opportunities to swim throughout the trip as we had a variety of swimming pools (and seaside experiences) to try out.
Unlike a typical EMU cross-cultural, we often planned things only a couple days in advance. Rather, we "planned" them further in advance, but Covid issues often meant delaying or cancelling these original plans. Students became adept at rolling with the punches and relied heavily on this YMCA announcement board to see what was coming up for the next day (which was sometimes a surprise for me as well as communication between the YMCA and me wasn't always 100%!) The YMCA staff (60%), Myrrl (30%), and I (10%?) did a wonderful job planning all sorts of Covid-safe activities for us.
Speakers, discussions, and activities were planned for topics like Thai culture, the Myanmar conflict, refugees in Thailand, gender identity, human trafficking, muay Thai boxing, Thai massage, Thai cooking, Thai festivals/traditions, environmental sustainability, English teaching, Thai teaching, and many more. I could write a separate blog entry about each of these topics and ways in which we wrestled with them differently, but then I'd probably never get this blog posted.
We read some books together (Asian Religions, Another Bangkok, Miss Bangkok, and Ten Unopened Envelopes) and students were also responsible for researching a topic on their own through reading related books and interviewing Thais. We sometimes partnered with, and even visited, sister YMCAs around northern Thailand. For me, the most interesting aspect of all this was reading in the journals the drastically divergent perspectives and experiences students had of the exact same events.
Homestays play a central role in most EMU cross-culturals, but because of Covid restrictions, we couldn't have the overnight experience (with some rare exceptions for some group members who chose some of the limited available options). But we still interacted with Thais on a daily basis. Perhaps the closest relationships were formed with the Thai interns at the YMCA who were generally around the same age as the students.
In addition to the stray dogs and cats wandering the streets, there were quite a few cat and dog cafes. The picture below looks much more peaceful than our trip to that dog cafe actually was. There were about 12 dogs, mostly mid- to large-sized, and it was their first day opening after being shut from Covid for a long time. The dogs were a bit overeager and quite aggressive with each other, so we only stayed for about 5 minutes of the hour we paid for!
A much more enjoyable experience was this hedgehog we saw while taking a walk one day. Jooyeon quickly befriended the store owner (as she does so easily), and the owner gaves us some gloves to pet her hedgehog.
Another favorite activity of our family (and many students) was exploring the many coffeeshops located around Chiang Mai. Some even had themes, as did this Into the Woods cafe based on fairy tales. Can you identify the fairy tale creature the barista designed into our latte?
A specific example of a YMCA-planned activity was our trip to Ginger Farm. We gathered some flowers to make purple rice, sat on a water buffalo, had a muddy version of the rice planting experience, and slid/wrestled down a mudslide into a water hole.
Other activites were more informal, like our Halloween dance party.
The girls made a lifelong friend on the trip who wasn't even human. On a four-day jaunt to the historic town of Sukhothai, we stayed at the beautiful Sawasdee Sukhothai Resort. Even more memorable than the calming massages and biking around centuries old ruins was meeting the one and only Booking. He received his name in honor of the website that alledgedly helped the hotel stay afloat during the economic downturn, and he was the first dog that E and K completely bonded with. E still has a tiny picture of him that she carries around sometimes in a locket to give her strength.
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Before the trip, I had everyone in the group create a page about themselves that would introduce themselves to the group in a way that would lead to deeper conversations and relationships. At the end of the trip, they each created a second page that encapsulated a few main things they wanted to remember about the trip years later. While the student pages are confidential, I can share my two pages here.
One thing worth pointing out is the portion of a book cover shown in a heart on my second page. A few weeks into the trip, some of the students bought a stats book in Thai for me as a gag gift. Somehow, this transformed into a "memory book" that every student secretely added to throughout the trip in their own style -- poetry, stats, letters, artwork, and even cross-stitch. Gratitude, sorrow, stories, lessons learned -- it had everything. I had absolutely no idea. They presented the book to me at our closing dinner after we had returned to the States in December. It choked me up as one of the most beautiful gifts I could ever receive as a professor.
When Jooyeon and I were asked by others after the trip if we would ever lead another cross-cultural, our initial answer was always "probably not." Not because this was a bad experience -- on the contrary, this particular group of students and all the adventures we had together were amazing -- likely one of the best experiences of my life. And I couldn't ask for a better co-leader than Myrrl. It was such an emotionally all-encompassing life experience that went so well overall, it just feels like anything afterwards would be a disappointment. In the year since we returned, our view has softened somewhat and we may end up considering a short-term summer cross-cultural. Time will tell.
